new year's day musing

i am a little unimpressed with new year's day as a holiday.

i hardly drank last night. sat around. my brother-in-law came over with his family. it was alright, though he insisted i should try his scotch and criticized my choice of vodka (smirnov, best cheapest brand). it wasn't all bad, but oh well. joseph showed up later. he's a really good friend.

been debating moving a lot lately. either to boston or austin. i am convinced austin may be the best choice.

my list...

1. closer to here, hence:
a. cheaper to move
b. closer to family and friends
c. my teacher cert. still applies

2. i have friends in austin already

3. damn good city
a. music
b. food
c. people

4. its perfectly situated between our family centers (where her parents and my parents live), in case kids pop out. you know...

5. i have alway put down people who moved to austin, now i can mock myself

6. its further north than here, but no so far north that i freeze my ass of in the winter.

7. 6th street / south x southwest

8. dan solomon (old friend, lives in austin)

9. outside chance of going to UT for my masters (way outside chance)

10. other safety colleges nearby (lol)

so there you go. i want to move to austin this summer.

oh yeah, and happy new years!

almost new years...

i am listening to modest mouse right now. damn, what a great album.

new years is fucking depressing to me. so what the fuck, lets probe that thought.

every year, i promise to not make new years resolutions, and each year i break that promise. so i will make 3 now.

1. i will lose weight. i am 26 and time's a wastin. if i dont lose it now, i will never lose it.

2. i will excercise more. i am a lazy motherfucker. you all know that. i play video games, post on my blog, read books. i need to get off my ass and do more.

3. i will be creative. since i got married (jan 17, 2004), i have done nothing. i dont write anymore. i broke up every band i start up. this year must be different. if i get to next december and feel the same way i feel now, i may fucking off myself.


so there you go. i made resolutions. i hope i keep my word. i doubt i will. happy new years to every one of you. i love to read your blogs and journals everyday. you have made my year brighter and better. special thanks goes to monty for pushing me to write online. thanks for a great year!

Salud!

an interesting night...

weird night tonight. for christmas, my sister-in-law gave me 15 bucks in hastings gift-cards (second most thoughtful gift of this Christmas, behind only Adri walking me through the store and allowing me to pick out 2 cds: american idiot and good news for people who love bad news) anyway, i had some weird realizations.

first thing, i dress like a slob most of the time. for a guy who has a great job and a caring wife, i am a slobby mother fucker in public. for work i am pretty snazzy, i think. i wear a tie 3-4 times a week. anyway, i ran into my friend vanessa and she actually looked me over when she said hi. and it wasnt a come on. i think she thought "what a fucking bum"

second, i may be getting too old to go into a cd/bookstore. i was pawing through the shins albums, trying to find a used copy of the other one (not "chutes too narro), and some chick who was dressed like (the fat daughter, i forget her name) osbourne walked up with a dude with 2 types of hair color, wearing a belt made of empty shell casings, walked up and basically ripped a cd out of my hand. sure, i handed it to her, but she basically forced me to, by sighing and whining to her puny-ass boyfriend. i wanted to vomit. i handed her the cd and went to the book section.

third, i am becoming an old man. as i was walking out of the music section, i saw some dumbass teenager ripping open a porno mag he had brought from the mag rack. i walked over to a clerk and ratted him out. i'm not sure of my motivation, but i felt really embarressed after i did it. seemed a little unfair to the kid, but i, in a way, enjoyed it. i enjoy a porno mag as much as (or more than) the next guy, but something just pissed me off by that kid ripping off the store. oh well. i think i am just old.

oh well, bought two books, LT: Over the Edge (biography of Lawernce Taylor) and Twin Tracks (history book) both look interesting, we shall see.

i swiped this from a livejournal entry

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before? got married, had sex.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? no (didn't lose weight), not really.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? My sister-in-law

4. Did anyone close to you die? nope

5. What countries did you visit? didnt leave the state of texas this year. kill me.

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004? i would like to have more of some other city, maybe austin

7. What date(s) from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? jan 17th - wedding

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? nothing really. i didn't do shit.

9. What was your biggest failure? doing nothing. its embarressing and shameful. seriously.

10. Did you suffer any illness or injury? hmmm.. had a bout with a bronchial infection. sucked.

11. What was the best thing you bought? entry into fantasy football league

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? no one. i thought it was a shitty year altogether.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? no one, who gives a shit.

14. Where did most of your money go? debts and bills

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? nothing really.

16. What song will always remind you of 2004? Franz Ferdinand - Take me Out

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? sadder
ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner.
iii. richer or poorer? poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? being creative. doing something worthwhile

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? madden 05

20. How will you be spending Christmas? i spent it with my wife. it was nice and quiet

22. Did you fall in love in 2004? nope

23. How many one-night stands? no

24. What was your favorite TV program? the surreal life

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? i hate so many people, its hard to pinpoint. let me think...i know. this fat white waitress at olive garden pisses me the fuck off. she has a whiney voice and needs to shut the fuck up.

26. What was the best book you read? holidays on ice - david sedaris (thanks monty).

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? postal service.

28. What did you want and get? everything nothing

29. What did you want and not get? freedom.

30. What was your favorite film of this year? life aquatic

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 26 and absolutely nothing that i can remember.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? more money, better times.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004? much more dressey. ties, shirts tucked in.

34. What kept you sane? monty and joseph.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? eva langoria. that chick is fucking hot.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? my friends' stupid reactions to bush's reelection and my support of said election.

37. Who did you miss? all of the no alarms crew.

38. Who was the best new person you met? hmmmm... i dont know

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004: dont keep your hopes up, its a bitch when you come up short.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: When I used to go out/I knew everyone I saw/Now I go out alone/If I go out at all

just realized

today is my brother's birthday. he died about 5 years ago. i have sort of forgotten the exact date. my parents remind me every year. i sort of dodge the subject with them, they get choked up, well for that matter, when i am with them, i get that way too.

well today, he would have been 24. weird to think of the fact that he died when he was only 19. boy that sucked. so much potential, swallowed up in a freak disease. fuck it. i doubt he was destined for greatness of anything, he wanted to be a machinist. he liked working with his hands. building things.

he met my girlfriend (now wife) a month before he died. i remember when he was in the hospital, adri and i made out at the house cause we thought everything was ok. and then, wammo, he was dead the next day. fine on one day, dead the next. couldn't have predicted it, the doctors said. 1 in a 100,000 in our area gets it each year. fuck it. dead.

i'll never forget about a month before he died. he got so angry because i made fun of his ex-girlfriend (i think i called her a bitch), damn he was sensitive. he got out of my mom's truck and started walking home. finally i got him to sit in the back of the truck in the bed. he was crying he was so pissed. i was such a fuck up then. a horrible friend and a fuckup brother. i kept trying to get him to drop out of trade school and get into the university where i was, as if my school was so much better.

i don't believe in ghosts. i think they are bullshit. i have no doubt he was in heaven, he was a better person and Christian then i ever will be. he was so full of love and life and now he is, shit, probably nothing more than a pile of bones. crazy when you think of that. someone dead after 5 years, just bones. maybe some dust from the decomposed body. shit.

fuck it.


David Lee Vaughn R.I.P.
Happy Birthday. would have been 24

so....doing anything fun yet???

so i havn't really been up to much over the last couple of days. drinking with some friends, not doing much more than that. ever mix vodka and hawaiian punch? damn good drink, but i wonder if i could order that in a bar. somehow i doubt it.

having time off is a bitch. i have nothing to do and nothing important to think about it. basically sitting around for 2 weeks, waiting for work to start up again. i miss pressure a little bit. oh well.

i will soon be on a plane to houston for an inservice. i will be staying at the omni hotel there, which apparently is a posh hotel. amazing that my district has money for this shit but not for materials we could actually use in the classroom. ISDs are extremely hypocrytical about money. people, show up at the meetings the school board has and call them on it. question why the continuosly blow money on new programs without allowing time for the old ones to make a difference. ask them how much money is actually set aside for students to go on field trips. ask them how much money is blown on consultants and trips that teachers honestly don't need. do it. they have no excuse.


BTW

I AM 25% WHITE TRASH! The white trash in my blood will not keep me from becoming a doctor or a lawyer, but it will keep me from a good haircut and any sort of fashion sense. Take the WHITE TRASH test at Fuali.com