Thursday

I had a great idea for a blog on the way to work this morning, but somehow i lost track of it in the hustle and bustle of the school day. i do know one thing for sure. it is only 6 school days until spring break. yeah, i realize people with jobs dont get a week off in march for no real reason, but damn, times like these remind me of why i am a teacher (not really). teaching give you pretty much every wekeend off, regular hours, every holidy, summers (2.5 months), chistmas break (3 weeks), and good pay for the full year. pretty sweet, huh? sure, its a lot of responsibility, but there is a lot of fun in it too.

denial of existence

Does denying an option eventually make the option disappear?

i am in a situation where there is an option before me. i can chose the option or, i think, i can ignore the option until i no longer see it. i realize that i cannot prove or disprove this logic at the moment, but i am placing much faith in this approach. rather than admitting the possibility, i am choosing to ignore it.


on other issues...

the decemberists are a fantastic band. if you have never listened to them, rush out and buy Her Majesty. no doubt i have endorsed this album before but talking about something other than current hardships make the hardships' effects diminish.

anyone doing anything fun? i never seem to hear from people doing anything fun, its all bitching on blogs. which is why, i guess, they exist. blogger is sort of like a free psychiatrist that lets us sit on his couch each day and spill our guts. we open up, dump out the weights that are holding us back and, in the end, we feel better for it. thanks.

on another point, funny that blogger's spell checker does not recognize "blog" as a real word.

sadly

i miss feeling loved.

killing lunch break

i find myself killing time, trying to make this day get over with, so i can get back home to what is important. my mind strains itself, trying to connect to someone else that is not listening. i pray constantly that somehow all this mess will sort itself out, but i my un belief continues to surface. my friend keeps trying to convince me that the grass is greener, but i do not care. the grass i have tasted is more sweet than any i can imagine. and honestly, i dont want to imagine it. i am happy where i am, with who i am with. i do not need something else to make me happy. i am satisfied playing the role i play. i dont wish to be recasted.

dead.

monday, monday

monday is always a mixed bag. shit from the weekend pressing still. one problem so big its all i can think about. i'm not sure how effective a teacher i will be today. wish i could use some brevity to force apart the issues, but right now, laughing is the last thing on my mind. i'm just tired. i wish none of this had happened and i was back to where i was a year ago. no time machinge available? damn.