Beware the Birthday Blues
I was on Julie's blog, and posted this concerning her mother's death. I didn't want to see it dissappear on someone's comment list, so here it is for eternity. I think my birthday brings thought's about my brother up, because I am alive, and he is not.
*As Appeared on Julie's Blog*
i have nothing great to say about your mother's death, and i find when most people try to say something deep it comes out sounding hollow. so let me relate my experience with my own brother's death.
David went from well to dead in 2 days. he started having stomach pains and went to the doctor, the doctor figured it might be food poisoning and sent him home. David got worse and worse and over the night, we had to take him to the emergency room.
My brother is a large man, like myself. When we got to the hospital, the orderly brought a wheelchair, and when I opened the door to the truck, he wasn't sure he could handle my brother's 300 pound frame. So I stepped up and hauled my brother out over my shoulder. I pushed him into the emergency room. I stood next to him not knowing what to do while he faded in and out of conciousness. I went into his emergency room and stood at the end of his bed. He complained to me about his cold feet (it shocked me. he always had super warm feet). I covered them with a blanket. I went home thinking everything would be better (hell, he was in a hospital). My dad flew in from an out-of-town business he was doing. He arrived after my brother got moved into ICU. He never got to say goodbye. My brother was driving down with his new wife from dallas. My brother died on a Thursday morning.
Last time I saw him his blood pressure was 20/15. I walked out. I was a coward. I couldn't watch him die. My brother got the news in a walmart on a payphone. My dad and mom read psalm 51 (?) with the assistant pastor from our new church. I sat there.
I went to the funeral with Catch-22 in my hand. It irritated my father. He pulled me aside and told me I was being irreverent. It's ok. I know how he was hurting. I was hurting too. I almost screamed when David's baby blue casket was in front of all of us at the gravesite.
My brother died 5 years ago. I'm still here. He was 19. I am 26 this month. Doesn't seem fair. But I can't argue. He's Dead.
*As Appeared on Julie's Blog*
i have nothing great to say about your mother's death, and i find when most people try to say something deep it comes out sounding hollow. so let me relate my experience with my own brother's death.
David went from well to dead in 2 days. he started having stomach pains and went to the doctor, the doctor figured it might be food poisoning and sent him home. David got worse and worse and over the night, we had to take him to the emergency room.
My brother is a large man, like myself. When we got to the hospital, the orderly brought a wheelchair, and when I opened the door to the truck, he wasn't sure he could handle my brother's 300 pound frame. So I stepped up and hauled my brother out over my shoulder. I pushed him into the emergency room. I stood next to him not knowing what to do while he faded in and out of conciousness. I went into his emergency room and stood at the end of his bed. He complained to me about his cold feet (it shocked me. he always had super warm feet). I covered them with a blanket. I went home thinking everything would be better (hell, he was in a hospital). My dad flew in from an out-of-town business he was doing. He arrived after my brother got moved into ICU. He never got to say goodbye. My brother was driving down with his new wife from dallas. My brother died on a Thursday morning.
Last time I saw him his blood pressure was 20/15. I walked out. I was a coward. I couldn't watch him die. My brother got the news in a walmart on a payphone. My dad and mom read psalm 51 (?) with the assistant pastor from our new church. I sat there.
I went to the funeral with Catch-22 in my hand. It irritated my father. He pulled me aside and told me I was being irreverent. It's ok. I know how he was hurting. I was hurting too. I almost screamed when David's baby blue casket was in front of all of us at the gravesite.
My brother died 5 years ago. I'm still here. He was 19. I am 26 this month. Doesn't seem fair. But I can't argue. He's Dead.
posted by WDV at 5:55 AM
2 comments
